Drowning
by Sabathiel
Summary: As Shiba Kaien lay there dying, clinging to Rukia, he thought about the one person who made his heart ache. He drowned in his memories of the one mistake he made in his life; the one mistake that he had always regretted. Kaien/Hisana


**Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns Bleach!**

**I know this is the weirdest and most ridiculous pairing ever, but it was a challenge from my friend. Story goes, we were talking about the weirdest Bleach pairings and I mentioned a KaienHisana image I saw on Deviant Art with the justification that Kaien was sometimes considered to be Ichigo and Hisana was sometimes considered to be Rukia, so why not?**

* * *

_It was pouring now. The cold rain fell down in large droplets, soaking through his clothes and to his skin. Rivulets of water dripped down his face and hair, mingling with his blood. "This rain, it reminds me of her." With whatever strength he had left, he reached up slowly and hugged Rukia to him tightly. As Shiba Kaien lay there dying, clinging to Rukia, he thought about the one person who made his heart ache. He drowned in his memories of the one mistake he made in his life; the one mistake that he had always regretted._

The first time he met her was a week when a cold front decided to come in. The weather that week was just awful. She had burst into his barracks one morning with red cheeks from the icy cold. Her inky tresses were wet and plastered to her face from the freezing rain.

"What can I do for you?" Kaien asked, looking at her soaked frame and studying her face carefully before confirming that he had never seen her before. His gaze fell onto the manila folder her stricken hands clutched tightly to her chest.

She followed his gaze to the folder and with a gasp, quickly handed the folder to him. "Lieutenant Shiba, delivery from the ninth company," she stammered. "I'm sorry that it's wet, sir. I tried my best to keep it dry, but the weather is just terrible."

"You're from the ninth?" he asked, taking the folder from her and setting it down somewhere dry. She nodded in response to his question. He ruffled her wet hair and snapped, "you're supposed to say 'yes, lieutenant' and then you introduce yourself!"

She gasped, staring at him with wide eyes and then answered quickly, "Yes, lieutenant, I'm from the ninth. My name is Yagami Hisana."

"That's better," he grumbled, peeking into the folder quickly and then noticed that she was about to leave. "Where do you think you're going? I haven't dismissed you yet."

Hisana froze in her tracks like a deer caught in headlights. "Lieutenant?" she stammered, staring at him with wide blue eyes.

"How come you're doing the delivering? Where's that guy who always comes? Whatshisface, Kirio?" Kaien asked as he was flipping through the folder. The papers were something about a new policy established by the ninth after so-and-so made a huge mistake so whatshisface got hurt. It was these kind of papers that Kaien never bothered to read and just handed over to his captain.

"Ninth seat, Kirio-san, is ill," Hisana answered. "They asked me to fill in for Kirio-san until he is well again."

"Hmm," Kaien hummed, "and what seat are you?"

"Tenth, sir," Hisana replied, clasping her hands together nervously.

"Alright, Yagami, you're dismissed," Kaien said, deciding that she had said enough and let her go. She nodded and turned away, heading back out into the rain. Kaien was sure that once Kirio was well again, he wouldn't be seeing Hisana Yagami again. Little did he know that this was only the first of their many encounters.

* * *

The second time Kaien met Hisana was a week and a half later. The weather had improved drastically since their first encounter. In Kaien's opinion, it was one of those perfect days with the puffy white clouds scattered along the lovely blue sky. The lieutenant caught sight of her during his lunch break at a quaint little café he would sometimes eat at. She was sitting by herself in a booth just off in the corner. She was reading some sort of novel while prodding at her food.

"Yagami!" Kaien said, slamming his tray onto the table with a loud _clang_ that caused her to gasp and nearly bolt from her seat.

"Lieutenant Shiba!" she exclaimed as he sat down in the seat across from her. "What are you doing?"

"I'm eating lunch," he answered.

"Obviously," Hisana answered, and then rephrased her question. "What are you doing here sitting with me?"

He looked up at her with a frown. "You're supposed to say, 'Good afternoon, Lieutenant Shiba, how are you today?' and not interrogate me."

Flustered, Hisana turned bright red and meekly repeated what he had said. "Good afternoon, Lieutenant Shiba, how are you today?"

"I'm quite fine, thank you," Kaien answered cheerfully and then shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth.

"Why are you sitting with me?" Hisana asked again. "Don't you have _other_ people you would rather sit with?"

"I'm a lieutenant so I get to pick my lunch break. I had to take a later lunch today so the _other_ people have already eaten lunch," he answered, ignoring the suspicious look the girl had on her face. "How's Kirio?" he asked, starting to make some small talk.

"Kirio is getting better," Hisana stammered. "He should be back to work sometime this week." She looked away from him and continued prodding at the food in front of her. She had been planning on reading during her lunch break, but with Kaien here, it would seem rude. She set the book down next to her plate and silently nibbled on her food while Kaien rambled on about a lieutenant's meeting he had attended.

"And then Lieutenant Ise made sweet love to me."

Hisana abruptly looked at Kaien with wide eyes. "What?" she gasped, nearly spitting out her food.

"Ha ha," Kaien laughed. "Just making sure you were paying attention. Ha, nice expression." He was laughing hard now as Hisana stared at him with eyes as big as saucers. "Just so you know, Lieutenant Ise did not do that."

"Right, of course not," Hisana replied, finishing her food. "Good day, lieutenant Shiba."

"You know I haven't dismissed you, right, Yagami?" Kaien asked with a smirk.

"I'm on break. I don't need your dismissal," Hisana answered. Her tone had been a bit more tart than she had intended but Kaien didn't seem to notice or mind. All he did was laugh and let her go.

* * *

Kaien didn't understand why he had been so intrigued by Hisana. She was tough, assertive, yet demure and delicate at the same time. Despite her cheerful expressions, there was always a hint of sadness in her dark blue eyes. He was curious about what sparked the sadness in her. In a way, he wanted to make it go away. Unfortunately, he hadn't seen her since he ate lunch with her that afternoon. Kirio was well again so she would no longer be doing deliveries and he found out that when they ate lunch together, she was not on her usual break schedule.

A month later, Kaien saw her once again at the quaint little café where they had eaten lunch together. She was reading again with her inky tresses falling over her face. She didn't even see him coming. "Hey," he said, sitting down across from her.

She looked up, startled by his presence. "Hi," she answered, unsure of why he was with her again.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Yagami," Kaien said, starting the small talk. "How's it going?"

Learning from her previous scolding, she bowed her head down politely and answered, "I am fine, thank you. And how are you, Lieutenant Shiba?"

Noticing her improvement in attitude, Kaien let out a rich laugh. "I'm doing quite well, Yagami." Reaching forward, he plucked the book from her hands and looked at the cover. The cover art was a male and a female embracing tightly. Kaien wrinkled his nose and then looked at Hisana. "I wasn't aware that you're a sucker for romance novels."

"Oh, hush. It's a good book," Hisana said as-a-matter-of-factly as she plucked the romance novel back from his hands. With her free hand, she began the monotonous routine of picking at her food.

Kaien smiled at her and watched her pick at her food. "You're an interesting one," he remarked.

Smiling sweetly she answered, "Well, I do aim to amuse."

Chuckling, Kaien began eating his food. "Well then, don't let me distract you, Yagami. Continue reading if it's _such_ a good book."

With a raise of her eyebrow, she marked her page and closed it before setting it done to the side. "Lieutenant Shiba, please, it's just Hisana."

"In that case, then it's just Kaien," he replied.

She looked at him horrified. "Don't be ridiculous! I can't be on first name terms with you," she said.

"Why not? You're letting me call you by your first name," Kaien replied dimwittedly. "How come you get to call me by my rank?"

"It's different. You're of higher rank than me," Hisana said quickly. "It wouldn't be right."

"There are no ranks in friendship," he answered firmly. "Call me by my first name or I'll keep calling you by your surname."

"How about 'Kaien-dono' instead?" Hisana suggested.

"I like that, Hisana. Let's go with that," he replied.

"Alright then, Kaien-dono it is," she said with a smile.

* * *

Much to her surprise, Kaien was beginning to grow on her, not that it was a bad thing or anything. He was sweet and could always brighten her dreary days. He was humorous, charming and always so friendly. After finding when her break schedule was, Kaien pulled some strings to get the same break time as her. When Hisana asked him why he would do that, he answered, "Well, I have a friend that would like to hang out with more and get to know better. The only problem was that we have different work schedules so I changed mine so I could see her more often." His honesty made her day.

She loved his company and found herself looking forward to break every day. It was an hour that she could get away from her reality of paperwork, captains and hollows. She was sure it was the same with Kaien since he established the rule, "Talking about work is prohibited!" It was like ritual now. They'd meet at the same café for lunch every day at approximately 12:45 to get a bite to eat. They'd gossip and then Kaien would walk Hisana to her barracks and then leave.

"Fortune cookies," Kaien said as he placed the two plastic-wrapped cookies on the table. The plastic made a crackling sound as she reached for one. "This place should start serving fortune cookies."

"Where did you find fortune cookies?" Hisana asked. "Did you steal these from that Chinese restaurant by the sixth company?"

"Maybe," he said in stop-asking-questions tone and then placed his order with the waiter that came by. "So how are you?" he started.

"I'm good. You know, yesterday, this guy in my squad proposed to his long-term girlfriend. It was sweet," she said. "So how's it going with you?"

"Awesome," he answered. "Who's getting married?"

"Kirio," Hisana answered. "You know him. He's the usual delivery guy. Proposed to an unranked officer in our squad. Her name slips my mind though."

"Are you invited?" he asked as the waiter set plates of steaming hot food in front of them.

Hisana shrugged, grasping her chopsticks taking small bites of her food. Covering her mouth, she said, "I got a save-the-date this morning."

"That quick, huh?" Kaien said with his mouth full. "Are you bringing anybody to go with you?"

"I don't know. I haven't given it much though. I just got the invite this morning!" Hisana said. "Why are you so curious, Kaien-dono?"

"Just wondering," he said. "Why do I always need to have a reason to ask questions?"

"Because you usually want something when you ask a lot of questions," she said.

"No," Kaien said dramatically as if she was accusing him of something god-awful. "Not me. You've got the wrong person." Before she could reply, he snatched up a fortune cookie and tore of the plastic wrap. Breaking it in half, he pulled out the little slip of white paper and read the fortune out loud. "If you want the rainbow, you must put up with the rain."

"That's motivating," Hisana said as she reached for the last fortune cookie and copied his movements. She pulled the slip of paper out and read her fortune. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." She sighed and folded the little slip of paper. "That's one proverb I've heard too many times now."

"But it speaks truth," Kaien said, trying to sound wise. "But it is _motivating_, is it not?"

"Very funny," she said. "At least yours hasn't been recited on motivational posters!"

"There's a motivational poster for your fortune? Where?" Kaien asked in an attempt to make her smile.

And indeed he succeeded. "There's one in the barracks. A rookie keeps it amongst others in her locker." She glanced over to the clock and sighed. "Time goes by too fast, doesn't it?" she murmured as she asked for her lunch bill. Kaien nodded in agreement as she paid for her half of lunch.

As Kaien and Hisana walked out of the café, he asked again, "So are you bringing a date with you to Kirio's wedding?"

She looked at him with a frown and sighed. "Kaien-dono, would you like to go to Kirio's wedding with me?"

"Why yes, I would be very happy to oblige," Kaien answered. "See? That wasn't so hard was it?"

Hisana rolled her eyes, "But that doesn't mean we're dating!" She lightly punched him in the arm when he made a comment about how she'd be lucky to date him. "I didn't invite you to come along just to feed your ego! It's already big enough."

Kaien frowned at her comment and raised an eyebrow. "There's nothing wrong with my ego."

"That's what you think," she chirped and headed to her barracks. "See you tomorrow, Kaien-dono."

"See you tomorrow, Hisana," he murmured softly and watched her leave.

* * *

Her heart stopped upon hearing _those_ words. "What?" she stammered uneasily.

"I know, shocking right?" Kaien exclaimed happily as he made wild gestures with his arms. "I can't believe I'm saying it either, but I really think I'm in love!"

"That's wonderful. I'm happy for you," Hisana answered. Her voice was hollow but Kaien didn't seem to notice as he rambled on about the third seat in his company.

"She's amazing, Hisana. You have to meet her. I'm sure you'd love her just like I do," he swooned.

"I'm sure I will," she said quietly, trying to mask the pain in her voice. "I'm happy for you Kaien-dono, I really am." Lowering her head, she turned and left without another word, ignoring his calls for her. She ran straight to her apartment. It took several tries for her shaky hands to get the keys into the lock. Once in, she slammed the door, locked it and with her back pressed against it, slowly slid to the ground.

She was sobbing now. She buried her face into her hands as her shoulders shook. Tears cascaded down her face as she felt her heart rip in two. She hated Miyako for winning Kaien's heart. She hated Miyako for making Kaien love her. She hated Miyako for being everything she wasn't. She hated Kaien for not realizing how much she loved him. But most of all, she hated herself for falling in love with him and letting her heart get broken like this.

A soft knock at the door made her sniffling cease. "Hisana, are you there?" Kaien's warm voice murmured softly through the wooden door. "I know y0u're in there, Hisana. Let me in. I know when something's wrong with you, I mean, I _am_ your best friend."

She stayed silent and brought her knees to her chest. "Go away, go away, go away," she whispered.

"Is this about what I said earlier, Hisana? Please, just let me in."

"I'm sorry, Kaien-dono," Hisana said through her sobs. "I can't do this anymore."

"I don't understand," he said in a concerned tone. "Hisana, what's going on?" he asked pleadingly as he pawed at the door.

"I can't do this anymore," she said, attempting to regain her composure. "You don't get it. You just don't." She took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. "You don't see what's right in front of your eyes. Now please, just go away."

"Gather yourself together and tell me what's wrong at lunch tomorrow, okay?" Kaien asked.

"Yes, sure," she replied quietly. She could hear Kaien's footsteps as he walked away and she sighed softly. That was the last time she would see him in a while.

She never showed up at lunch the next day. Kaien asked one of the members of her squad who shared their usual break and they only told him that Hisana had to take a later break because she was working late. The day after that, she didn't show up again and the same member said that Hisana had changed break schedules completely. He got the message and stopped reaching out to her.

* * *

"Oi, Kuchiki, you got my save-the-date, right?" Kaien asked his friend at lunch. Kuchiki Byakuya nodded in response. "And you're making it?" Once again, Byakuya nodded in response. "Are you bringing anybody?" he asked through gritted teeth, now annoyed that Byakuya was too occupied to even answer his questions.

Sensing Kaien's irritability, Byakuya answered, "She said she couldn't make it."

"So you did meet somebody?" Kaien inquired.

"Yes," Byakuya answered in a clipped tone.

"What's her name?" Kaien said, now knowing that Byakuya was purposefully trying to annoy him.

"You can find out when you meet her," Byakuya said, finally making a full sentence. "I was going to bring her to your wedding, but something came up and she was unable to make it."

"That's a shame. I would have liked to meet the girl who got the Kuchiki heir to show some emotion," he said and pat Byakuya on the shoulder. "She's probably quite the catch. Don't lose her."

"I don't know," Byakuya admitted finally. "She's not of nobility. My family elders hate her."

"Screw them," Kaien said. "You should marry this girl. Not everything has to be about nobility and purity. Your wants matter too. And don't give me any 'setting an example' crap." He reached for a fortune cookie on the table, broke it and pulled out the white slip of paper. _A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step._ Kaien instantly ripped the slip in two and crumpled it up. Noticing Byakuya's frown, he mumbled, "I didn't like the fortune."

* * *

"Hisana?" Kaien called out and grabbed her by the arm. "Hey you."

"Hey you," she responded meekly and freed her arm from his grasp. "What are you doing here in the Rukongai?"

"Visiting my sister and brother," he responded. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm looking for somebody," she answered. "How is your wife?"

"She's good," Kaien replied, noticing that she didn't bother to ask how he was. "How are you, Hisana?"

"I've been doing good," she said. "I've met somebody," she added.

"Oh? That's good news. You truly deserve it," he said wondering why there was a pain in his chest after hearing the latter comment.

She smiled gently, not making eye contact with him. "I don't," she said so softly he didn't hear her correctly. When prompted, she shook it off like it was nothing. "I'd better go. Have a nice day," she said placidly.

"Will I see you again?" he asked.

She shrugged, "I don't know."

"What's his name?" he finally asked. For some reason, he just had to know who was courting her.

"He's a kind man, but I don't belong with him," she said quietly, delaying the answer. "His name is Byakuya Kuchiki."

"What?" Kaien gasped, not believing what she had said. His thoughts fell back to a few months ago when he was having lunch with Kuchiki and he had mentioned meeting a girl. Kaien realized he still hadn't met Byakuya's girlfriend after several months. "He's my friend," he finally said.

"I know," she said softly. "I figured it out when he asked me to go to your wedding."

"Do you love him?" Kaien asked.

"Yes, I do. With all my heart, I love Byakuya Kuchiki," Hisana admitted.

"What about me? Do you still love me?"

Hisana paused, carefully thinking over her selected answer before saying anything. "I used to, Kaien-dono. But you chose Miyako instead of me and broke my heart. So no, Kaien Shiba, I don't love you anymore." Swallowing what was left of her pride, she spun on her heel and disappeared into a crowd of people before she could be subjected to more humiliation by him.

It was after that Hisana was gone that Kaien realized he had made a mistake. Somewhere along the way, he had fallen in love with Hisana but was too stupid to realize it sooner. Now, he had lost her.

* * *

Kaien trudged slowly through the white hallways of the infirmary. It was too white, too clean here. It all reminded him of death. He grimaced as he past room after room, filled with sick and injured patients. Finally reaching the room he had come for, his hand tensed the moment it touched the door knob.

_'What am I doing?'_

His hand lingered on the door knob as he grimaced.

_'This is ridiculous. I shouldn't even be here. She probably doesn't even want to see me.'_

As Kaien stood there, frozen to his spot, he contemplated on whether or not he should just poke in to say a friendly 'hello' or just leave without speaking to her. He didn't even know what he was doing at the infirmary in the first place. No, that was a lie. He was there to pick up his sick captain's medication.

"It's not going to do you any good if you just stand there outside my room..." a soft voice rasped, "No use in hiding; you might as well just come in."

Kaien nearly jumped at the sound of Hisana's weak voice. Caught, he sheepishly entered the room and sat down by her bedside. She was deathly pale, hooked up to so many wires and machines that it wasn't normal. "Hey, you," he said quietly.

"Hey, you," she answered back weakly, and with all her strength, struggled to sit up. Looking off into the distance, she murmured softly, "It's terminal, Kaien." He looked up at her with an expression mixed with shock and surprise. "I'm going home tonight. I'd rather die at home than in _this _place." She shuddered weakly at the thought of dying all alone in a white room, hooked up to machines and tangled in wires.

"Don't be silly, you're going to get better," Kaien said optimistically. Without thinking, he carefully took Hisana's small hand into his, gently running a calloused thumb over her knuckles. "You _have_ to get better."

"Oh, I wish that was true," she sighed softly. "I'm sorry, Kaien."

Shaking his head vigorously, he answered, "No, if anyone should be sorry, it should be me." Bowing his head down, he quietly continued, "I made a mistake, Hisana. It was you. You were the one I always loved and I was foolish for not realizing it sooner. I should have taken you to be my wife. I'm sorry, Hisana."

"You're a fool, Kaien," Hisana sighed. "The past is the past, and you're happily married to a wonderful woman as I am married to a wonderful man. It's too late for regrets now."

"I love you, Hisana," Kaien murmured softly as he looked up at her.

"A kiss for the road?" she asked weakly.

Kaien instantly obliged to her request, leaned in and captured her lips. Careful so not to disturb all the wires, he pressed his hand against her back to hold her close. Her fingers tangled in his inky hair as she willed for time to stop so she could have this moment forever, a kiss before dying. He kissed her desperately, trying to memorize her taste, her touch, her feel, her everything. In that moment, they shared their first and last kiss.

She reluctantly pulled away from him, and looked down to hide the tears springing from her eyes. "Goodbye forever, Kaien-dono."

"Not goodbye forever," he corrected her as he stood up and headed for the door. "I'll meet you again in the next life and I won't make the same mistake again. Goodbye until we meet again, Hisana."

Hisana passed away a week later.

* * *

The following year, a new girl had entered the Gotei Thirteen and was assigned to the thirteenth squad. When Kaien went to meet her, he found himself staring at a ghost. When he confronted Byakuya about her, the noble calmly explained that the girl was Rukia, Hisana's younger sister. Byakuya had also stated that he pulled some strings to get her into the thirteenth company in hopes that Kaien would take care of her. Cornered, Kaien agreed grudgingly.

Rukia was the spitting image of his Hisana. There were minute differences though. Rukia was more petite than Hisana. Her eyes were a shade of blue lighter and lacked the ghostly sadness that Hisana possessed. Rukia was shy as well and hardly socialized with anybody in the squad. The girl was too stiff, too formal. When she addressed him as 'lieutenant' without thinking, he corrected her and told her to call him 'Kaien-dono.' It was after, with a wince, that he knew that was probably a horrid idea.

Rukia killed Kaien. She killed him physically as well as mentally. His heart ached each time he saw her grow and resemble Hisana and a chill always went down his spine when she addressed him as 'Kaien-dono.' She looked so much like Hisana, especially when she smiled. Like Hisana, Rukia had a sweet smile that could lighten up a room. It was a sweet, rare smile that could captivate anybody, even him.

She killed him physically on a rainy night. Miyako had just died by a hollow and Kaien recklessly went after it. He was an idiot. He should have known better not to hunt down a hollow that wiped out an entire garrison. But he had just lost his love for a second time. Anger and pain clouded his judgment as he rushed into battle. The hollow possessed him and he was impaled by Rukia's sword.

_"I can leave my heart here," he murmured softly as he clung to Rukia, snapping out of his memories. _The past is the past... It's too late for regrets now. _Closing his eyes, he focused on those words and rested his head against Rukia's shoulders. His eyelids were heavy and his grasp on her shihakusho was loosening. Almost inaudibly, he whispered against the fabric of her uniform, "Hisana, I'm coming..." Closing his eyes, he let out a soft sigh and his hand fell limp to the ground._

Years later, Rukia was in Karakura town, assigned to kill a hollow, when she met _him_. Ichigo Kurosaki, the spitting image of her beloved Kaien. When Byakuya came to take her back to the Soul Society, he set eyes on Ichigo and saw Kaien in him as well. With the same ferocity as Kaien, Ichigo stormed the Soul Society and rescued Rukia from execution. Many years later, after surviving through the Bounts, the Arrancars, and the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo got down on one knee and proposed to Rukia. As Ichigo and Rukia stood together in matrimonial celebration, Byakuya knew that _they _finally got their happy ending.

Because in Ichigo and Rukia, Kaien and Hisana lived on.


End file.
